…it wasn’t at all what I expected.
So, as we do… I matched with a guy on Tinder. He seemed like the whole package, really funny, tall, attractive, and we had lengthy interesting conversations. I was so excited about meeting him, that I didn’t tell but one of my friends about him… so as not to “jinx” anything.
We planned on meeting at the Six60 concert in Christchurch. He was MC’ing/DJ’ing part of the show and we had planned to meet up sometime after his gig to enjoy the remainder of the show together. We decided a few days before then to take the plunge and added each other on social media.
It was quite obvious that there was something on my profile that he didn’t fancy, as the conversation immediately dwindled. If I’m being completely honest, when I had seen a few videos he had posted of himself on his page, I had been a little put off myself… but I figured since we had such a great conversation that I could overlook it and give him a shot. This was clearly not the case for him, as something had clearly extinguished his interest in me.
It was quite obvious that there was something on my profile that he didn’t fancy, as the conversation immediately dwindled.
So, in an attempt to save myself any additional embarrassment, I decided to block him. It made me feel quite shit at the time, but I realised pretty quickly that if he is this superficial to begin with… I can only imagine what he’ll be like later on. I decided that this is just saving my future self from inevitable heartbreak.
So, after some venting to my girlfriends… I moved on! I went to the concert and had a great time! I barely wasted a couple lingering thoughts on him and enjoyed my time at the concert to the fullest!
A month or so later, I was invited to join a challenge celebration through my gym, 9rounds. 9Rounds was the first gym I found in a long time where I genuinely enjoyed going. I was finally able to create a routine I was able to stick to, go to the gym 4 to 5 times per week, and actually enjoy it. For New Year, they had a competition to challenge yourself to meet your self-set goal of going however x number of times per week. I did NOT meet my goal, as half the month I was healing from a pinched nerve in my back, but the gym owner (Hayden), insisted I just come anyway — so I agreed.
I got home on Saturday, mid-afternoon after having spent Friday night getting pampered at Maruia Spring Spa (a little early bday celebration) and driving the 3 hours back home. I was knackered and considered faking on this quiz night challenge celebration... but figured, since I wasn’t doing anything anyway, may as well.
I decide to put on my nice yet casual dress, did my hair and makeup and headed out the door (due to arrive fashionably late, naturally). I get there and don’t recognise anyone… I finally see the trainers, who are the only people I “know” and sit at a the table with two of them and with who I later come to learn are their partners. I get to chatting with some of them.. and it is awkward. I’m introducing myself to everyone and working to get the new acquaintances names when one of the trainers ask me what her name is, and of course, I blanked. To be fair, I don’t think she should have put me on the spot like that. But whatever, I tried to make the best out of the uncomfortable situation, fearing the remainder of the evening will go like this until… I see him.
…one of the trainers ask me what her name is, and of course, I blanked.
We’re all sat outside in the indoor/outdoor area, filling 4 of the 6 tables. I look over to the far end where there is a projection on the wall displaying “9Rounds Quiz night”. To the right of it, is the guy who is hosting the quiz night, who is without a doubt the guy I had matched with on Tinder and blocked on social media. I take a moment and try to figure out how best to respond to the situation… my mind is racing… does he recognise me? Should I say something? Do I acknowledge that I recognise him?
Before I could finish considering how to react, Hayden, stands up and starts to welcome us to the quiz night. He then instructs us to move into our predetermined teams, which thank my lucky stars, moves me to another table with another random group of people. I slowly make my way over to that table and start introducing myself and am relieved at how much easier it is to talk to this group. At this table are a lovely young girl and a really cool guy and girl couple.
We get to chatting and introducing ourselves to one another and within a few minutes I completely lose myself in our conversations. We’re tasked with the responsibility to choose a team name. I say that it’s pretty obvious what the team name should be and suggest that we be “Average Joe’s”! Everyone agrees and we proceed to be the most obnoxious and loudest table the entire evening. We have so much fun in fact, that I end up forgetting about being uncomfortable about this guy and laughing until my face and stomach hurt!
I stop stressing entirely about the situation and decide to just treat him like any new person I would meet, with warmth and friendliness. Realistically, he is just like any other person. The pressure I put on myself on how I “should” act around him is just a preconception that was made up and held up by societal norms and expectations and is not mandatory. I can choose to treat this human being just like any other human being.
The pressure I put on myself on how I “should” act around him is just a preconception that was made up and held up by societal norms and expectations and is not mandatory. I can choose to treat this human being just like any other human being.
I can’t say that I ran up to him and greeted him with a warm embrace or anything, but I can honestly say that there were no negative or harsh feelings towards him either. And I must admit that the situation definitely worked out in my favour. I was looking great and feeling great and not worried about anything else besides truly living in the moment.
At the end of the evening, he came and sat next to me (to chat with Hayden who had come by), and I honestly did not even notice until he had got up and left, I was too distracted/laughing with my new friends. It was genuinely a really nice feeling — no anger or resentment… just a peaceful recognition.